The original question raised that prompted this thesis was: How does a clinically depressed preacher claim agency and exercise leadership in a faith community that is itself historically depressed? Working primarily with Paul's story as recorded both in his own writings and in The Acts of the Apostles, the author set out to redefine the community such that all involved would move into living in the reign of God. Throughout the duration of the preaching program, the community did change, becoming more biblically based in its orientation as well as more mission driven.
What was not expected was the author's personal identification with Paul and Paul's struggle to come to terms with his new identity of living in Christ. While the goal for the parish did not change, the thesis did. Over the course of the project, the author identified with Paul through his own "thorn in the flesh," living with clinical depression. Although the thorns are not identical in nature, the author wanted to know more about how Paul came to peace with the distracting thorn such that it did not obstruct his ministry. It was Paul's response to the challenge of reinterpreting the faith of his ancestors that unlocked a door for the author, offering a way forward for one whose calling is to proclaim the Good News ofJesus while struggling with one's own lifelong health issues.
This thesis does not suggest a cure for clinical depression, offering instead a way of living despite it. The paper is a result of the author's reexamination of Paul's ministry in light of academic studies of Paul and Paul's theology over the past thirty years. At stake is the preacher's understanding of being called by God to live in the reign of God today-and in the process he both invites and leads others to join with him in living out God's mission for the Church.
